babydoll..still under the spell xxx: rockstar xxx

babydoll..still under the spell xxx: rockstar xxx: 24 nov 2012 22.01 smiling at the thought of that Man singing on stage.. was this really happenning,i thought to myself as i was rec...

rockstar xxx

24 nov 2012

22.01


smiling at the thought of that Man singing on stage..
was this really happenning,i thought to myself
as i was recording the videos of the songs they played...


He was singing His heart out,playing that guitar,
i stood afar,not wanting to jeopardize this night,
that belonged to Him...

was He really the same person i fell in love with?

amazed

i wanted to scream and say things while i watched in the sidelines...haha

but couldnt...

my dear friend dutchy watching and giggling with me while we watched...

i was silently saying from afar how proud i was to witness this ...

then He started singing this song, i was bewitched by how he sang it...
how this song meant and i was half way thinking and wanting to sing with Him..

and thinking to myself,with all these things that had been going on around us,
i never really thought He would actually sing last night...

but He did and He sang with that passion i always see in His eyes,
when He is trying to explain to me things or make me understand things
that i would normally get confused about or when He tells me stories
that make me laugh,
when we walk silently His hand forever holding mine,
and i look into His eyes
and i know that there is something He wanted to say...

or the first time we spent i spent a few hours with together and left,
He never knew,i was watching Him as the car drove me away,

i saw Him looking solemnly down,walking silently but His actions ...
without saying a word...i could feel them very loud and clear...

this was the same last night as He was singing,on that stage,
except,last night He was singing the words...


He was happy xxx
He was enjoying Himself

all these worries before the show,drifted away


the last song,He said was about me...
after the show when He said that,
i was smiling on my way home...

i knew i was going home to where this Man will be...
not tonight,not tomorrow night...

but every night He is always home with me...
in my heart and my soul

He was singing for me,
He is my Rockstar..

He had always been everything i ever wanted..

this complicated life we are in...
that He made as happy as possible
not just for Him but more so for me....

spellbound by You xxx

nov 04 2012

dollhouse

23.08


i wished for You
You came and made me feel
that everything is true xxx

there were more ups than downs..
but all are inevitable
they will happen wether we want to
or not...

i cried and i cried...
and felt too sad,

but why?

for someone who refuse to feel this again,
it was something i thought i have forgotten...

but why in the best of times,
do i feel as if i am pulled towards You
i feel helpless and sometimes i feel restless..

i am a woman who wanted a man
to take care if me..
foolishly thinking thats all it will ever be...

it wasnt.it wasnt how i expected how things would be...


i hae been a wife,i have been a fiancee,
i have been a gf and in all of them i never knew
or felt any happiness...
the way i felt when i was with You...


what is wrong,what is right?
i dont know anymore
all i know with You everything seems bright...

no one would understand this situation we find ourselves into...

but would anyone blame us for how things now came to?

i had a conversation,with someone close,
having difficulty in believing that she will ever find love,
inspite of her never really falling in love,
she asked me,
how can You still feel love inspite of all the hurt You had in the past?
how can You be with anyone after all that?

i had to tell her,

i said, i see life differently than others...

but i didnt say anymore why...
but this is why...
i know i shoould think of how the pain was in my past..
but thats not where i want my life to last

i dont see life as gray...
and i wont let pain lead me astray...

i have to try to live a life,with all its colours
despite all around me lies...

i have expirienced chaos,hurt and pain,
wealth and poverty...

but one thing i realized,
you have to be poor to be wealthy...
hurt to love,
die with in to live...

when ever i felt pain or sadness...
i think of You and i know You will hear me
even in silence...
see me even in darkness,
love me even when there is nothing left..

and because of this i know i cant be a victim of my past...
nor a victim of my present...
specially not going to be a victim of my future...

but most of all,

its because for now,i know
i am spellbounded by my love for You...